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Ai Mei by Rainie Yang

ai mei rang ren shou jin wei qu,
zhao bu dau xiang ai de zheng ji,
he shi gai qian jin,
he shi gai fang qi,
lian yong bao dou mei you yong qi zhi neng pei ni dau zhe li,
bi jing you xie shi bu ke yi,
chao quo le you qing hai bu dao ai qing,
yuan fang jiu you xia yu de fang jing xiang tah duo shi wo hai shi ni,
wo jen bu fu qi ye kai shi huai yi,
yan qian de ren shi bu shi tong yi gen zhen shi de ni,
ai mei rang ren shou jin wei qu,
zhou bu dao xian ai de zheng ji,
he shi gai qian jin,
he shi gai fang qi,
lian yon bau dou mei you yong qi,
ai mei rang ren bian de fan xin,
zhi dao deng dai shi qu yi yi,
wu nai wo he ni xie bu chu jie ju,
fang yi han de mei li ting zai zhe li

December

Assalammualaikum...

First of all, thanks for commenting my Eng.

I'll take that as a positive comment.

I don't really mind if any bad comment(s) will appear @ my cbox.

Jangan saja yang telampau kasar komennya :)

Honestly, I have no idea what to post.

But still will post something that is THIS POST.

Currently, I'm waiting for December to come.

So far, the homeworks are not that many. Simple and easy homeworks for Geo and Socio.

For GP, I don't think we'll be having any.

But Acc?...

I bet there'll be many!

Hmm...December...

Any plan?

BBQ(s), PLURK's gathering, outing with Skoh, what else?...

That's just it.

Assalammualaikum

Mission Failed -.-

Assalammualaikum...

I have this out of sudden mission..

Which was to remain silent for the whole day.

I was just wondering how it feels kalau inda becakap langsung.

LANGSUNG

But failed.

I managed to keep my mouth quiet for one hour?..atu pun during PS

Obviously I would keep my self quiet pasal I was alone.

HAHA

During Geo, tried not to talk, but they kept on asking me.

Till Ez thought that I was having my bad mood. I wasn't Ez :)

Was just trying not to talk. Since that, I have to talk lah but lesser than used to be.

We got test. Seriously, I didn't do proper revision.

Giving up.

Hope the answers I wrote will be accepted. Amin~

And yeay!

Our tutor for Socio is back!!

I came late to school today pasal aher bangun.

Kana marah apa, macam I didn't even smile early in the morning tadi.

But when I saw teacher, tarus senyum ani wah. Glad that she is back. We had been suffering attending the class when teacher was not around. Where most of my classmates escaped and only 6 attended the class.

I can say that's the reason why I was absent yesterday. Inda mau masuk kelas. Hehehe

Anyways, today we should be having Acc at 12.45pm but I came late >.<

And the good news...

Next week no class!

Wish granted! hahaha

We rarely have class that being cancelled.

Then, on the same day, next Wednesday, ada award for CCA.

I might be getting one, Guling tangan which I didnt expect. I don't deserve it bah.

I didn't even learn how to play them, except for what do we call that? antah.

And kata teacher aku dapat pasal I was always there whenever we have Gulingtangan.

I feel funny, getting a certificate for doing nothing.

I can say I did nothing.

Entah lahhh..

Photography?..i don't know.

Kalau ada pun, should I come on the stage to get it?..

I do not want to come on the stage.

-.-

Another good thing, I bought A&W today!!

Yeayyyy! Setelah lama mengidam HAHA

And balik skulah tadi makan mangga. Bukan mangga masak. Nyaman wooo~

Then my rambutan, still utang arah Idah.

Inda pandai ada ea ani.

Dari bulan berapa ku minta aa.

Sia sia pun. Kurang sudah rambutan arah pukuk durang atu.

I see less red ones. :(

Inda lagi batah terabah ni, kepunan rambutan durang. HAHAHA

Ingin usulnya aku aa. LOL

Bah, i'm off

Assalammualaikum

Wise Advise!

I believe in this

Why can't just people respect other people?

Not all people, but some.

Can't they respect what things belong to others?

Why only think for yourself?

We do need to think for ourselves but for some reasons, I REPEAT REASONS, we do need to respect things that are belonged to others and not you.

You know what?

When you are doing your very best to be such an awesome great or whatever you wanna be, and you are not actually leading to what you wanna be, it's kinda pathetic 

You need to think that to be what you wanna be, you need other people to guide you.

 'Cause to others, you aren't that awesome great or whatever you wanna be.

People don't see it but only you.

Only you see what's the best for you and that is not good.

How could that be?

Selfish?...

I don't know.

I'll let you to decide.

My wish : I do not wanna be like you for sure. I'll be such a pathetic person if I failed not to be like you. 'Cause I'm trying my very best not to be like you.

Re-post. The reason why I like the song Save You by Kelly Clarkson

Assalammualaikum...

Just to make it clear.

There's a reason why I like the song Save You by Kelly Clarkson.

I did a post that can give you a clue why I like that song.

So, I'll just gonna let you read my old post. I know it's kinda long but in the end you'll understand.

Assalammualaikum..

Been awhile being inactive due to some reasons.

First of all, wanna let you know about something. My angah has passed away on Tuesday, 4th August2009. That is the reason why I didnt post anything for about a week? More than a week lah. And that was a day before my angah being hospitalised. Where should I start? Hmmm...

My angah was in coma for a week. The first day I met her was on Tuesday, 29th July. Night before, at 12am, mama just got back from hospital and my sis told me that angah was in semi coma. She could not talk but could hear us. I was speechless. At that time, I was plurking and immediately inform the plurkers. They knew it first. Thanks to plurkers for being there~

On the next day, I texted my sis who was staying at the hospital together with my cousin, the daughter of my angah. I asked how angah was doing. She replied "angah koma la, mun ko mliat ea menangis ko tu la" jangan kan meliat membaca her message atu udah ku menangis.

At night of that day, I went to the hospital and when I arrived, Ka Zaza grabbed me first. She asked me to visit angah and sedekah al-fatihah for her. Ya Allah, kabak kabak ku atu inda dapat ku explain. We were only allowed to enter the ICU alone. Inda bulih bedua or beramai. When I stepped inside the ward, benapas pun macam payah. Takut banar because i wasnt ready to see my angah's condition. But then I tried my best to stay strong. Then, I saw her. I was speechless. How can I stand myself by seeing her in that condition?? She could not speak nor moving. Rawan ati meliat. I was standing speechless, doing nothing because I had no idea what to do. Pasal wires were everywhere. Takut ku mana tau I might hurt her. Who knows sakit kan. She could not speak to tell us apa yang sakit. Allah saja yang tau how I felt at that time. Then I went outside. Inda ku dapat menahan air mata. Inda ku sanggup meliat keadaan nya cematu. Seriously, I didnt expect her to be like that. It was all of sudden. A week before atu, I met her. Yang masa ku ke empire tu. I went to her house and met her. She was healhty. Macam ada meaning ku ke rumah nya atu. Sampat ku besalam apa.

After visiting her in the ICU, I asked Idah, anaknya yang bungsu, about her condition. The doctor told them that nyawa nya terserah pada Allah saja. The more that I knew about her condition, the more speechless I was.

On the next day, I had the feeling not to go to school tapi skulah jua ku. Mind was away from lesson. Thinking of angah's condition. You know after seeing her actual condition night before. I can still imagine her condition. In the afternoon, during lunch time. wait, before lunch, Ez informed me that Miss Farah wasnt at school. So guessing no socio. But I went to the class jua. And i totally forgot about Dzah. She was having her lunch with durg Pejj.I told her that aku naik ke atas skjp. Sekali udah di atas. aku tidur.

Then she went to the class and told me that she was waiting for me di bawah. We actually got a plan. Was asking for a help. Minta bawa ke Hua Ho kan ngurus kan ATM ku. Tapi inda jadi pasal lapas Dzah naik ke kelas, kakaku called telling me that we were asked to gather at the hospital at 2.30 by the doctor. So Dzah sent me to the hospital. I really appreciate for the NO LESSON of socio on that day. Dzah sent me to the hospital and would be coming back to school to pick Syai and Nabil up at school. Sorry for the trouble Dzah and thank you again for the help.

The doctor was late. By at almost 3.30pm baru tah ada. He told us about angah's condition. 

Her brain was not working anymore and she was depending on the machine to breath in and out. Tell me what, siapa jua inda sedih dangar tu? Kami semua tediam. Then the doctor said, sooner or later jantung pun stop jua. There's nothing they could do. Peluang untuk sembuh sangat tipis. I was not that strong kan menahan air mata. It was hard but we have to face the fact. My mum asked my angah laki, ea paham kah inda. What he did was tunduk and said yes. Then Ka zaza asked what to do and he just tunduk pastu giling giling. Mama inda kuat meliat angah cematu. Rawan atinya meliat. Not only mama, we all inda lagi dapat menahan air mata meliat respon angah laki cematu. Ea inda menangis but his way of responding atu membagi rawan ati.

Then before 4pm, Cik Mah datang. Alum lagi ea lawat angah ku di dalam but being explained first by my mum and she cried and hugged my mum. After she visited angah, she cried even more. The condition was not as expected. Very critical. In the night, Mok Lah datang. She too cried more right after she visited angah. Then we had a family meeting. Untuk kefahaman yang lebih dalam, Cik, Mok ngan Uwa met the doctor and asked what's exactly angah's condition. And again we had a family meeting after they had what the doctor said.

The next day..more Yassin kana baca. More visitors came and they too did not expect. But redha. On Friday night, i've been told that angah was in critical condition (nazak). Speechless again. And oh I didnt got to the hospital on Friday because it was BB's turn to go there while me, stayed at home baby-sitting adi adi and anak buah. And I missed Tiyah surprised birthday party too. We planned but I didnt able to come. Was about to make a phone call but waiting for the right time. Suddenly!! MELISSA's name appeared on my phone screen~ It was Tyah!! It made my day. I talked to Tiyah then Nabil, then Skoh, then Dzah, then Lisa, then Tiyah and again Nabil and lastly, Lisa again. I dont know how the surprised went. But the funny thing was the birthday girl arrived earlier than those who wanted to surprise her. HAHA.

Back to topic.

On saturday, I didnt go to school, went to the hospital instead. And sleepover there. Angah's condition getting better. On that day, semua members keluarga ku tidur sana. Including the little one, Miya. They went home early in the morning. The adults stayed till night. Well, actually kids under 10 or 12 are not allowed to go to the ICU. But we ignore the rule for some days for good.

On Monday, fine. Just fine. The BR was 35. Normal BR is 100+. You see how big is the different?. The lowest was 27, by Saturday if I'm not mistaken the BR went up til 35-40. Atu pun cukup sudah bagi kami. Her body was so cold. I did kiss her forehead. Made me cry. And kissed her cheeks. On sunday, semua masuk in the ICU. Baca Yassin and ucap dua kalimah syahadat near her. I didnt do it pasal...

Inda ku sanggup. It was not because of malas but I was not that strong enough to do so. Meliat anaknya menyampaikan dua kalimah atu sudah rawan hati. Sidak sidak ku menangis. Kalau kan masuk pun, barat rasanya, astagfirullah. It's like seeing her in that condition lebih menyakitkan. Kesian ku liat. And campur campur perasaan ku. Aku redha but inda pecaya she was in that condition.

Udah inda tahan meliat, I'll go outside and duduk di tangga. ALONE. Trying to be strong but couldnt. I was being informed that angah inda suka meliat kami menangis. She doesnt want pemergiannya kami tangisi. That's what, Ka Zaza, Anti Jijah and Cik told me. And yes, i did try not to cry.

By monday, no bad news. Doing fine. Just fine like previous days but still in coma. In the night, went to the hospital again. And on the same day, Mok Tony, Amira ngan Aleeya datang. Aleeya!! But they went straight ke rumah pasal mama mau durang break dulu. Jauh tuuu.

By Tuesday, Uwa Niah, Kak Selly, Ka Reah ngan husband datang. They went to hospital in the afternoon lapas makan di rumah kami. Balik ke rumah at 10pm. Mandi and masa tengah makan ada call. Information about my angah. Angah nazak. Tinggal makan durang, tarus ke hospital. That's how worried they were. Aku sama kakaku memanyap barang makanan. And durang alum abis makan. Sian. Then siap kami bepanyap. I was on plurk at that time then kakaku, Sikin, said, "La, cuba ko baca ni" Mesej dari cousin ku.."Mama ninggal udah"

And I was so speechless. Cried. Paused in front of my laptop. Innalillah~ It was hard to belive but that's the fact that I need to accept. At 12.30am, mum got back home and change clothes and went off to my angah's house. I was being asked to stay at home to look after Aleeya, AMira, Miya, Sidah and Ajim pasal I was the only one who was awake. Abangku CD tidur. Buddies in plurk were the first to know from me. Then Dzah through msn.

On wednesday, parents went back home at 5.30am. Siap siap lah semua. Off we went to angah's place at 6 almost 7 or 8am. Wasnt that ready to see her body though. It took some times for me to have the guts to enter the room where she was placed. Been two days I didnt see her face. Masa ku ke hospital, ku inda masuk melawat. And masa the day she was buried too inda liat mukanya. Masa ku masuk bilik tempat ea kana sembahyang kan tu of course lah betutup kan. Masa ea kana cium oleh balah balah lakinya before kana mandikan, rawan jua ati meliat. Then ea kana mandikan, aku mau liat, tapi inda sampai. Entah, takut kali. I dont know. Kakaku cakap she was smiling macam aman lah. Then lapas kana mandikan siap lah ea kana bugkus kan infront of me. Pastu kana sembahyangkan. Then baru kami mencium. As usual, being told that air mata inda bulih kana arah jenazah atu. I only have two experience. First was, my nini bini balah babah. It was in the year of 2000. Kalau balah mama, nada kesempatan. Kuching, mama saja ke sana.

Second is angah.

Then we went to kubur. I cried more when her son, Udin, cried. And even more when Tua ku baca kan talkin and he cried tu. We hardly can see Tua menangis. Tua, the imam, we believe that men are strong but I was wrong! Their tears are meaningful. Not only tua, Uncle Adinin too. He almost cried when visiting angah. That's what Anti Jijah told us. She knows that her husband is hardly can cry. I know angah is being loved by many people. Angah, may you are in peace there. Semoga roh angah dicucuri rahmat and di tempatkan dengan orang orang yang beriman, amin~

Today we will be having the makan tiga hari. And last night, I felt different. Selalunya kalau ada majlis, she would be the one yang menyambut tetamu and I know where she would be standing at. Be-Istigfar banyak banyak. Almost cry, but tried not to. Tarus ingat what they told me, angah inda suka urang menangis. Lapas siap majlis, keraja siap, then we sat in the living room. Adalah cousin ku ani cakap pasal raya. Her house will be closed. Ea inda mau raya taun ani. What she means is rumah ditutupnya, durang saja mengaga ke rumah urang. Then she said "Mun ku tekanang lagu 'Duhai bonda..duhai ayahanda" kan menangis ta ea. Astagfirullah. I know it is hard, everyone knows it is hard, but this is the fact yang mesti diterima.

I did mentioned about a task i was assigned kan in previous post, yang pasal menggambar urang bertunang tu. That's her son. And she was the one yang suruh aku menggambar. I was her only hope to capture the moment but I failed to do it for her. She did mention that by herself arah ku. "Kau ta ganya harapan ku pakai menggambar majlis ani" And I was given the priority bah in order to capture that moment. But I failed. I really am sorry for that. Banar, I disappointed her. That's what I regret. I should buy spare batteries. I knew the batteries would went low tapi luan confident it would not. But past is past. Sabar saja. Nanti ku share gambar atu. Awqey..

Ya Allah, tempatkan angah ditempat orang orang yang beriman dan diredhai oleh Mu. Amin~

As for that, bacaan al-fatihah from you, readers will be much appreciated~

--------------------

So here is the link to the song..

I can tell
I can tell how much you hate this
And deep down inside you know it's killing me
I can call
Wish you well and try to change this
But nothing I can say would change anything

Where were my senses?
I left them all behind
Why did I turn away?
Away

I wish I could save you
I wish I could say to you
I'm not going nowhere
I wish I could say to you
It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright

Didn't mean
Didn't mean to leave you stranded
Went away cause I didn't want to face the truth
Reaching out
Reach for me
Empty handed
You don't know if I care
You're trying to find the proof

There were times I'd wonder
Could I have eased your pain?
Why did I turn away?
Away
----------------------

I cannot lie, I'm crying when read back what I've written.

I love you, angah. We all do.

I wish I can see you in my dreams soon.

I did dream about you, but I didn't see your face. I miss to see you smile.

Whatever it is...

Assalammualaikum....

Really I am.

Why?

Because...

All I can say is...

No harsh words I can say, but whatever!

*sigh*

----------------------

I wonder when teacher will be back again. Hope she is fine. You know, it has been a week sudah. Quite curious about her condition.

A sir ada masuk and ajar kami and it was .....

Haish!

-------------------

I got a bad news.

We are not going back to Kuching this December.

Why?

Because of Kijang!

Money will be spent on him (Kijang).

P.S: Bah, it is time to buy new car -.-

------------------

I wonder whether I should go to school isuk or inda?

Well, actually I planned not to go to school today but then... My plan wasn't a success.

Will be having test for Geo on Wednesday.

If I skip school tomorrow, I'll be revising the topics : gnirehtaeW & epolS (spell it right by reading backward)

And I don't have to attend one specific class for a reason :p

But still worry about the other two classes.

No GP tomorrow.

I wonder why some other students can easily be absent from school while me...? It is hard for me to decide 100% not to attend school. Always 50-50

Is that a good thing or it isn't?

--------------------

Imma stop till here.

Have a good time!

Chhaaww

Assalammualaikum

P.S: Didn't mean to ignore you when I saw you. If only I know you are reading my blog, surely I won't be saying all these P.S thingy. HAHA

Google-ing

Frust...

Why?

Siasiapun...

Soon, I'll get you!

Two large bottles!

HAHA

Then I found this...

Best motivation for revenge?

I say it is true. Right?

Revenge always caused by jealousy.

Not only for love matters, but all matters.

Business especially.

Education too.

Not to mention, competition!

From jealousy, to revenge or to win or whatever you may say.

Is jealousy a good thing?

Revenge? Obviously, not a good thing.

End of post.

Blog updated!

-.-

Chhaaww...

Assalammualaikum

From 13th on Friday to Crocodiles!

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• FabbyBoxers:
  buttt!!!
• FabbyBoxers:
  gigi nya rata ahh!!
• FabbyBoxers:
  nda jua lawa utu
• FabbyBoxers:
  mau jua betaring
• FabbyBoxers:
  HAHAHAHA
• FabbyBoxers:
  baru lawa lovebitenya
• FabbyBoxers:
  HAHAHAHA
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  inda lawa
• FabbyBoxers:
  ukan lagi nyamuk tu
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  luan putihh
• Adilla Limin:
  gigi buatan sndiri tah..hahaha
• FabbyBoxers:
  pkai apa?
• FabbyBoxers:
  cement?
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  bahh
• FabbyBoxers:
  HAHAHAHA
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  paksa tah ku ngasah2 gigiku dulu neh
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  mbari tajam!
• FabbyBoxers:
  pakai??
• FabbyBoxers:
  batu bata?
• FabbyBoxers:
  :P
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  pakai batu! (rock)
• Adilla Limin:
  ntah..nis, cna buat gigi sndiri? haha
• Adilla Limin:
  ajarin dong
• Adilla Limin:
  batu bata barat tia..
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  hahah sanang sih!
• FabbyBoxers:
  yth nie nahh
• Adilla Limin:
  krg teturun gusi ulihnya. hahaha
• FabbyBoxers:
  ulah tani nie nahh~
• Adilla Limin:
  cian kau tu by. hahaha
• FabbyBoxers:
  udah kan dkt tngh mlm
• FabbyBoxers:
  sorang2 crack
• FabbyBoxers:
  HAHAHAHAHAA
• Nisnis Haji Idris:
  HAHAHAHA
• Adilla Limin:
  hahahaha
• FabbyBoxers:
  HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Feeling down...

This is how I look like.

Not perfectly and exactly the same as the picture.

The picture gives you clue of how / what I might be feeling today..

Lately, this is what I feel..

Down, a bit sad, discourage and ..... I don't know...

I should take an off day from thinking whatever things are going on currently...

So...

I should chhaaww now...

Assalammualaikum...